Opportunities and money
At the deli where I (used to) work, about a month and a half ago I got my hand stuck in a slicing machine - A machine that you cut ham and salami with. I cut the knuckle of my left index finger and to make a long story short - I'm not getting any hour shifts there anymore... At the ER they sewed the wound wrong and 2 weeks later when the nurses took the stitches they tore it up again. The wound got inflamed because the nurses didn't know how to treat it properly and the doctor I had put me on a too high dose of strong antibiotics. Finally, after about three weeks, got to see a specialist. I had to go to the ER to get a referral 'cause none of the clinic doctors would write one. At the specialist's they only had one word for it all - Malpractice!
About the money - I can't help the feeling of bitterness grow and I'm fighting it with the few yogic powers that I possess but my strength is running out. I'm doing a translation job from English to Swedish for a yoga studio/hair salon homepage and that's fun but I don't know how much I'll get paid or how much it will help our household? I wish I could record an album that I can shove in the face of the labels that have showed "some" interest in me. I wish it for myself and I wish it for you all who read this. I LOVE the few comments I get here and I love the comments on my MySpace too - Still I wish more of you would say SOMETHING when dropping by here.
It's so sad that money should have such power. I mean both David and I are so happy and in love with and in our engagement but we both think it kind of sucks not even being able to make bigger plans for our wedding because of freckin' money.
Sorry for this gloomy post but somebody had to say something around here.
A little sign of life
I know this news comes as old news for some of you since David blogged about it a few days ago but here it goes: On November 17, David kidnapped me to a special place in Skäralid (nowdays called Söderåsens Nationalpark) with a beautiful breakfast and proposed to me. Of course I said yes and therefore we are now engaged!!!
For you people out there in Sweden: Head off to your nearest Pressbyrån and buy the latest issue of the magazine Svensk Yoga (like a Swedish version of Yoga Journal and for those who don't know a great yoga magazine). There is a three-page article about Sara Culler the musician and Sara Culler the yogini talking about the force of yoga and the difficulties in life that now belong to the past. There are lots of pictures and some are from the woxy.com session at SXSW - Thanks for letting them use the pictures Matt and Mike!
December 17 I will be appearing at Kanal Lokal here in Malmö - For those of you who have that TV channel, tune in at 18.00 hours.
That's all for now.
Taking a break
There has been sooo much back and forth, misunderstandings and no understandings at all. Right now - All I know is that I was invited to play at Beijing Pop Festival + other shows. I don't know what all the fuss has been about. I have been trying to tell myself it's a cultural clash but I think there is more than that. I'm glad they like my music but I don't really know what will happen... I'm tired and in a "wrecked" state but I thought you should know the facts even though they are a bit vague. I'll blog about it some other time. The stuff below still stands though.
As I said - I feel like letting go of the whole process in making music. It's just a too big emotional roller coaster. I never have the money to do anything like go on tour or even buy a new instrument. People in this business are mean. I was bullied for six years without even knowing it mentally and then it just came to me as well as other people had seen it and the cup overflowed. The shit is still going on - I see some of the people every week and it really makes me sick to my stomach. I read evilness - The biggest lies about myself on the Internet like every month.
There are different types of stress - Roughly divided into two - Good and bad stress. I've been sick a lot in my life with for instance a blood clog/thrombosis and also Malignant Melanoma of the skin - One of the most deadly forms of cancer there is. This has made me view life from a different angle. I can and will not put stress in my body like this if I can choose. The right amount of negative stress can and will form diseases... Right now I'm trying to recover the shit that dawned upon me this past year - Being bullied - It was a lot and the mind doctor says such a process can take a while.
I feel let down because of the whole China thing now and I feel like I need to take a break from all this just for a little bit. A little bit could be from a couple of months to maybe a year. I may drop you a note here if something important emerges out of the depth... Basically - The "highs" are undermined by the "lows" and I feel like I'm walking on very shaky ground...
I added som great singing on a Oppenheimer track that will be on their next album - David got to sing some too. Oppenheimer is one of the few bands that makes my heart warm in this world of music. There are things like a single release in the short future and I will proceed in that planning. Also talk of album release but now I need proof instead of talk - I'm finished with talk.
Take care you all,
The other band to China
We'll see if everything will work out. Money is the main problem...
Rain is pouring down in Malmo today and the weather report reads storm later this evening. If I don't get some serious sunshine soon I'll have to book sun therapy - Otherwise I'll hang myself before the end of the year...
In a couple of minutes I'm going to load some files onto my digi porta and record vocals on an AMAZING bands AMAZING song. Can't wait to hear the result later on. You all will know sooner or later.
To hell with rain - I'm REALLY tired of it now...
In the newspaper
I borrowed the pic from sydsvenskan.se
Talk soon - Cheers,
Taking it to the streets
I remember one beautiful Texas evening. We were driving around - Heading for the warm, friendly and bubbly South Congress. This was SXSW 2007 and can probably be categorized as one of THE MOST IMPORTANT TRIPS in my life. I met people that have been a strange for more than a decade. People that should have been closer 'cause they are part of me - They are my flesh and blood - My dear relatives.
Austin is a city that brews culture events and music is a HUGE part of that. You can catch high class acts all year around and great local bands at almost any diner, restaurant or bar. During SXSW Austin reaches to the extreme. Pull over for gas and you'll catch your favorite indie act playing at the gas station. Go buy flip-flop sandals 'cause your feet are warm when the first signs of Texas summer heat is starting to show and there outside Target - A band! Go have the best NY style pizza outside NY in Austin - At Home Slice Pizza and then find yourself playing there a couple of days later. 'Cause they like music in Austin - 'Cause dining out is not a dress-up-and-make-it-an-event type of thing. No. 'Cause like in all countries that are warm - We enjoy other people's company whilst doing one of the best things in life - Sharing each others company and eating.
Anywhooooo. We were sitting in my aunt's car cruising around with the windows down taking in local color. We were just about to turn onto South Congress when I heard a familiar voice singing outside - Now - This was great 'cause we were in an intersection with a lot of lights and luckily (for once) they were all red. Great music - But I was sooo struck by this non expected happening that my mind went blank - Who was this familiar voice??? As we came around the corner we saw a sign - Tonight at ??.00 Hours - ROKY ERICKSON
This is not a picture of Roky but it is the street South Congress and it's such a typical surreal sight - Did you read that - Typical surreal! He (a Russian guy touring the states!!!) just parks his van at the side of the street, makes himself a stage and plays! That's what I call taking it to the streets!
Hope all is well,
Bye for now,
I would really like to play for you
I would really, really like to play for you. Would love to play for you in Sweden too - If you'll have me???
Apart from it all - I'm working on a download-and-print-it-yourself CD. For you 'cause I like you listening to me. In my mind at the moment is a stripped down, still electric but also acoustic and organic CD. Songs that I will be able to perform with or without backtracks. There might be a total of seven songs - Six new and one in a different approach. I'll have to wait and see if the final result becomes just that... The idea is kind of a mini album.
Confessions for today:
- I want a Fender Mustang - The one I fell in love with in New York 10 years ago (se picture for similar guitar).
- I think Ida Maria has a lovely voice in that Peugeot commercial - I fell for a commercial (...).
- I'm recording a cover of an OLD David & the Citizens song...
- I love David (hey - what's new... duh... I suck).
The static sound of the prehistoric computer engine humming and cracking. Crash 1, crash 2, crash 3 little engine.
What was she waiting for? Who was she waiting for? Can she be heard by the Swedish chef or will he choose something else to shove into the faces of his people? Label her - Let her out - She's invisible to them if she's not out there but the Swedish chef decides who is - And she's not. Take some labels off of her, they are only lies. Let the Doctor read the verdict for the bullies - Let the people know she's true. Silence of the lambs and little Mary takes good care of his lamb - The lamb is not alone - It's got Mary - He takes good care of it. The chef of international cousin loves her! Too bad it's too expensive to be in love like that. Travel here, travel there - Love her here, love her there - They are all lovely but she can't afford to be loved like that alone and on her own. Label her right, label her right, label her right - Find her the right label. A label that likes her and takes care of her like he does with the lamb - Like Mary does - With the lamb that is silent. Mary can pay for the lamb to eat international cousin.
"Call in sick, check out well - Leave the mouse to eat it's tail. Everything in - Nothing out - She's got an ugly car in her mouth!!! Yellow Lamborghini, Yellow Lamborghini, Yellow Lamborghini"!!!
Songs of the day:
Rogue Wave - Sightlines
Cat Power - Metal Heart
Who reads this blog???
Moods... ... ...
This time next year.
Keep it shut.
Keep it closed.
Keep their mouths closed.
Forever hold their peace.
Forget the music.
Forget the mind.
Forget the years.
Forget the light.
Leave a written word.
Moods... ... ... David is getting his hair colored today - That's fun at least. I gave him the opportunity instead of myself 'cause he's never been to the hairdresser and I don't want to color my hair EVER again. It's been through sooo much and I've lost a lot more than half of it due to certain traumas?
I hope it turns out OK - We have been talking - Red might be the way to go.
What's happening outside? Clouds again. I haven't seen the sun for weeks - Been inside during the best days - Working? It's abnormal to live under these circumstances - No sun, WAY to cold and mostly rain, rain, rain...
Carol of the Bells by Outputmessage = The song of the day.
Of the MySpace songs I love Bernard's Song and Sommeil.
Radical Face - Ghost
Now - I'm not setting off to do a review of the album - I just want to let those know who don't already know about him. Read this review and download the song Welcome Home, Son! It could be one of the most captivating songs I've heard. Hand clapping used in a not too common order to give drive to, to stress and to push forward the motion in the song. Where as in Electric President - These handclaps would be exchanged for some, more obviously digital, sounds (maybe the handclaps are digital but organic they are still) - GREAT! Symphonic and big chorus with that nostalgic, sentimental tone and scent that makes you all goose bumpy and teary eyed!!! !!! !!!
Or just head off to the Hype Machine, type Radical Face and click to whatever track - they are all GREAT!
Oh and don't forget - BUY THIS ALBUM!!!
Radical Face MySpace
Are You Sleeping goes popular
So you know ;o)
BBC Airtime - Again!
Stephen McCauley is the host of BBC Radio Foyle Northern Ireland's amazing show - Electric Mainline. I have mentioned both him and the radio show before - When he played "At Least Like Melissa" from "wolflike they are" - And now I'll do it again.
The reason this time is that he has taken a liking to my new demo - "Miss Takes - Light The Night!". This past Tuesday - May 1 - He played the last song on the demo - "Leave A Blank Sheet".
Now because Stephen is a great guy with an exquisite taste in music ;o) he will play more of my music on the show. If you want to hear the May 1 show click here (only good before the evening of May 8) - But I also think you should listen to his show more often and find new great, music - He also plays a lot of the great stuff that's brewing out of Northern Ireland these days.
When it comes to "Stephen McCauley for President" - I would definitely put my vote on him!!!
Stunning and Captivating
It's strange seeing an artist perform her songs in front of a crowd I don't know - It's like standing naked watching her and the other people wonder why the hell am I naked (!!!). It's strange to feel that I know her well but she really doesn't know anything about me. It's always been her and me. Me in the room and her in the stereo - No one else. My feelings or her feelings? You know how certain songs seem familiar when you hear them for the first time? Not the instant-hit-familiar-and-that's-why-I've-heard-it-before feeling but more like this-is-the-song-I'm-writing-at-the-moment and because of the similarity in the feelings displayed - Therefore the connection. That's why I felt naked in front of the people there to watch her perform. It's like watching them react to her telling about my own private feelings. Will they realize there's a freak at the control panel in my head?
I've loved Lisa Germano's work since 1994-95. My favorite albums in order would be Geek the Girl, In The Maybe World and Lullaby For Liquid Pig. I gave Lisa my "wolflike they are" CD yesterday. Couldn't stay and chat 'cause I would have started crying - I was way too moved by her performance. It was a swift hello and hand shake - Thanking her for more than a decade of understanding and unity (not those words ;o)! The set - Don't know how long it was - I never checked a time telling device. I was watching the show goddamn it!!! Tears from song nr1. She knows how to emphasize the words. She's articulate so you can hear every single word she sings. It was her and a stage piano + bass player with a great feel for her songs. I can't write anymore about it. It was great. Stunning. Captivating!
Photo by: Drees
Other things that are stunning. I bought The Bird And The Bee's S/T debut album today. I've been waiting for it for a LONG time now. We were all out of them over here in Sweden - I don't know if there has ever been a lot of their albums here - I haven't heard them on the radio. Anyway - The album - It's captivating too. Except from the song "Fucking Boyfriend" - which I don't care for that much. The rest of the album is already amongst my top five albums ever! Go check them out:
The Bird and The Bee MySpace
The picture - I love cicadas - Their sound is stunning and they are captivating but in a totally different way than the ones mentioned above...
I'm going to see Lisa Germano tonight!
Search my blog for what you think I think about it or if you know already - you can hear me!!!
I've also seriously been looking into moving back to the States.
Since I'm a Citizen of the US of A - It's just a matter of when.
I'll bring my cat and man.
Just so you know.
So. Now that is official.
"That's your magnet to the sun!!!"
I'm in NY and at the big public library on 5th avenue. I've got a computer for 45 minutes and I'm doing my things.
David and I have been walking around all week - beautiful wether but freckin' cold!!!
Austin and SXSW was AWESOME. Gig at woxy.com went GREAT and it was great to finally meet Matt and Mike!
Talking about finally meeting people - ROCKY and SHAUN from Oppenheimer and getting to see some of their shows!!! WOW!!! They are the best!
Scott - you're great! Family GREAT - ALL GREAT!!!
Mp3's are working again - sorry about that!
Will write more when I get home!
I have now activated "Spam Filter ON". People who have tried it say that some of their usual commentators can't comment. To that I say - If that happens - Go to my "Contact" post (in the margin to the right under categories) - And send me your comment instead. I still have to approve your comments and I do that at least once a day.
I wish I had a REAL homepage with REAL Spam guard protection...