About the Nothing (not the nothing from The NeverEnding Story)

Well, three weeks until Christmas and still no snow. Not that I'm counting on it but it would really be nice. I have been delayed in my recording session. I do not have any excuses except for being totally sad regarding almost everything. Then, when you finally feel something tingling in your fingers, you have a blood filled blister on your left index finger and a big cut in your right hand. Is it a sign? I just don't know but it really makes you wonder… I sit here, spoiled, with my seven new, great songs and the arrangements all written down but what do I feel? Nothing. Sometimes your bed IS the better place to stay after all… All I feel I want to do right now is battle the emotions of not becoming one of those musicians that complain about their choice of life. REALLY, I don't want to become a musician that keeps whining about how hard it is to be a musician and how misunderstood you are… It's all actually extremely common. Like spoiled kids with their parents at supermarkets licking a lollipop and still wanting more… And the ones complaining the loudest are in fact the ones with lollipops in their mouths.

At this moment I lead a sedentary life - I'm my own artist. I don't have a lollipop in my mouth. I don't have a record company and I have not released an album. I don't even have a band!!! Well, my dear David is the only member at the moment but hopefully some more would like to join us…

I'm waiting. For something. To happen. I have resin on my jeans 'cause I cut some pine branches today to decorate the balcony. For Christmas. For David. For Ginny (who is coming to visit us Yeah!). For Beppe. And for myself. May there be snow.


Hopefully I can give you all a mp3 for Christmas, hopefully…

Ps. If you are looking for something to download
click here or scroll down, read some more and click when you get there... Ds. 

Posted by: Anders

Sounds like a winter-depression. Think I might have one of those too.
I don't know the cure for it, but a lot of tea and some good calm music always makes the winter a little bit warmer.
Hope you get well soon, and you can share some of the new songs when there ready
And maybe it is a sign, with the fingers. A break perhaps?
But a little advice, I'm sure you allready are aware of; Don't settle for less. Your music is ready, when you feel it is. Great music takes time.. Kinda like cheese :) So if the music is ready, don't let the fingers stop you! Enjoy December, it's a beautiful month.

Posted by: Sara

Thank you! Really! Nice words like that don't grow on trees (especially not in the winter ;-)!
You might be right; I may have a brush of winter depression… Sometimes you just have to go through that feeling of hibernation…
Don't worry I'll post you a song and also; I never settle for less and I would never post a song half done :-)
I'm following your advice. I'm gulping tea almost like I smoked cigarettes before I quit half a year ago... It's a bit like an old favorite band of mine, Bedhead, said:
"And I know it takes a new addiction to keep you from what you're addicted to"...
I honestly hope that you'll be feeling better as well and that you recover from your brush of winter depression before Santa C. crawls down you chimney.
Pull the smile inside!

2005-12-06 @ 23:23:15
Posted by: Anonym


I'm sorry to hear that you've been dealing with a case of winter depression. Being a Chicago native for the past 5 years, I can definitely empathize. Anders has some really great points, I take them to heart as well. In addition to the tea, I recommened vitamin C, B6, and zinc. Not only do they help the immune system, but Vitamin C helps ward off chemicals that destroy dopamine and norepinephrine - some of life's natural positive chemicals - and can also help in the production of serotonin - the body's natural sunshine drug.

I am sorry that I haven't sent my addressed envelope for your music yet, but I have only been home 2 days in the past 2 weeks...been traveling for work the rest of the time. The absolute latest I'll get them in the mail is the weekend of xmas, as I am going to be with my parents and will finally have some down time.

That's all for now. I'm off to write David, as I noticed in his last blog (the non-swedish one that i was able to read) that he, too, is feeling quite down. You two are some of my fave artists - know that and feel happiness.

Take care.

2005-12-13 @ 05:14:35

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