"The calm before the storm". "Silence is golden". "Silence is the virtue of fools". "No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow".

What is it? The silence. It can be different things but at this time its twofold.

First of all. I usually see low paced periods of my life as a period of growth, a process of change, evolution within myself. I used to go to dance school when I was younger. Training to be a dance teacher. I spent about 9 ½ hours a week in the dance studio dancing and doing yoga. During this time I learned that the mind is quicker at picking up new moves or paces. Much quicker than the body itself. I could suffer for weeks when my intellectual mind knew what to do but my body just didn't seem to follow… Suddenly - sometimes even a month later - everything just clicked. Symbiosis. I still do yoga and it, even more, deepens the understanding of your body vs. mind…

This is a thing I tend to think back at now that my days of dance are over due to a knee injury and blood clog (believe it or not - bicycle accident)… When I worry that I won't be able to write a good song again or if I feel like "it just HAS to happen today - a record deal has to happen today!" and I get maniacally stuck at the computer contacting, e-mailing - BLOGGING… … I remind myself of the time things need to soak in. Our bodies are micro cosmoses - If we can't access a microscope then switch on the news. The same things are occurring there as on the skin or in your immune system. You probably think "what the heck is she babbling about now???"… Well the thing is - all people are pretty much alike. I sometimes need things to sink in - a looong time - things need to grow on me. I have to understand that the same goes for everyone else. Not necessarily meaning my songs need to grow on an A&R guy at a label. I mean that things have to take time. Like sometimes our universe or the actual world we live in needs the time to adjust - not necessarily the people - the environment… Therefore - the news reflects what goes on in the world and the microscope reflects what goes on in/on our bodies and ours minds - we create the news the micro cosmos creates what we are. We are all alike so we tend to act similar to things that are basic.


Why this constant need for music. I'm in a period of my life where I need music all the time. When I'm biking, writing, contemplating - you name it. Is this need a substitute for a physical being? I don't think so… I sometimes want to have music when out with David - walking. My take on this is the following. I think my need, probably yours and many more people's needs as well, are based upon the fact that the world is a noise filled place. We are constantly surrounded by sounds. Involuntarily. Therefore we choose to dissolve into our own substitute for quietness. This is my own take but sometimes I just plainly feel like hearing something. Something that's warm. Musical sounds are warm compared to the sounds around us when outside. For example. I like walking/biking at the ocean shore. The immense amount of water makes sound travel quicker but it also adds LOTS of treble. Sounds turn cold, hard and unfriendly. Therefore I tend to choose my own environmental sounds. Sounds that I much easier can relate and relax to...

All this brings me to thinking - Musicians? Are we - in this new, noisy world - the creators of the "new silence"?

Well - the mind wanders… My body needs to wander in to the living room and add piano to a track. Piano that my mind knows how to play but my fingers just haven't adapted to it yet… It's all about time…



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