Sara Culler

My music will not be heard in China. Unfortunately and I'm VERY sad to have to announce this. I've been fooled by some people over there and all in all I feel like letting go of this whole music process... First of all never let your parents get too involved in your music world - If there is a clash it gets REALLY, REALLY strange...

There has been sooo much back and forth, misunderstandings and no understandings at all. Right now - All I know is that I was invited to play at Beijing Pop Festival + other shows. I don't know what all the fuss has been about. I have been trying to tell myself it's a cultural clash but I think there is more than that. I'm glad they like my music but I don't really know what will happen... I'm tired and in a "wrecked" state but I thought you should know the facts even though they are a bit vague. I'll blog about it some other time. The stuff below still stands though.

As I said - I feel like letting go of the whole process in making music. It's just a too big emotional roller coaster. I never have the money to do anything like go on tour or even buy a new instrument. People in this business are mean. I was bullied for six years without even knowing it mentally and then it just came to me as well as other people had seen it and the cup overflowed. The shit is still going on - I see some of the people every week and it really makes me sick to my stomach. I read evilness - The biggest lies about myself on the Internet like every month.

There are different types of stress - Roughly divided into two - Good and bad stress. I've been sick a lot in my life with for instance a blood clog/thrombosis and also Malignant Melanoma of the skin - One of the most deadly forms of cancer there is. This has made me view life from a different angle. I can and will not put stress in my body like this if I can choose. The right amount of negative stress can and will form diseases... Right now I'm trying to recover the shit that dawned upon me this past year - Being bullied - It was a lot and the mind doctor says such a process can take a while.

I feel let down because of the whole China thing now and I feel like I need to take a break from all this just for a little bit. A little bit could be from a couple of months to maybe a year. I may drop you a note here if something important emerges out of the depth... Basically - The "highs" are undermined by the "lows" and I feel like I'm walking on very shaky ground...

I added som great singing on a Oppenheimer track that will be on their next album - David got to sing some too. Oppenheimer is one of the few bands that makes my heart warm in this world of music. There are things like a single release in the short future and I will proceed in that planning. Also talk of album release but now I need proof instead of talk - I'm finished with talk.

Take care you all,
Sara