Sara Culler

Do you speak the truth to me when I stand like an island in a stream where everything is passing me by
when I stand in the shadow
like clinging to the frame of a picture when everybody always comes to see the picture and not the frame.

Have I been living a lie when believing in myself and what I do
or
have the good words just been white lies to comfort the poor disbeliever who is me?
Have I been a good child, a good daughter, a good sister, a good person, a good friend, a good fiancée, a good musician, a good yogini?
Have I been what I want to be?

I know I have wasted the last ten years on a lot of things that stole my peace
a lot of meaningless acquaintances
or
at least that's what they feel like right now.
I know they've shaped me
Eroded me like some stone figure in the Grand Canyon.
Am I beautiful now?
Am I a figure or Am I sand?

Trying to recreate my person from scratch.
To what?
Into whom?
Like a flower petal blooming they say.
That's why I bend, bend and bend up to the sun but there are clouds.
They didn't mention the clouds!
How can a flower petal bloom without the warmth of the sun?
How can it grow, change and evolve?

/Sara



A REAL post below so please continue...