Fight or Flee

It's noon and we just finished watching "Little Miss Sunshine" while having breakfast. GREAT movie. David finally rented it yesterday and we've been wanting to see it for ages. Unfortunately yesterday became "too-late-and-too-tired-to-watch-a-good-movie-ish" so we watched a crappy movie with commercial breaks on TV instead.

I got an email from my dad today and also a good comment on my blog. Thanks to Dad and M for inspiring me to write this blog. I'll see if I can touch the subject without going too far from the essence.

I've been torn between the two - Fight or flee. I can sometimes feel that I have done wrongly in posting true feelings on this blog. Feelings that should not be published but kept in my own private sphere. What made me post has not only been my frustration and feeling of if I don't post - I'll explode. I also chose to post because I asked myself what I would like from some creative person to share. I know I've always loved the close feeling I get to music I like. I would love to know the person more and what is going on in the head that is creating the music I love and spend so much time with. What keeps the mind ticking and what keep the songs coming? I chose to post things that could answer at least one or two of the questions that would pop up in my own head if I were someone listening to myself and not knowing the person that is me - Sara.

I took a break and thought that I was going to take a walk... It didn't happen so now I'm writing again.

I haven't posted a lot of things. It's sad 'cause I know I would love to post a word document I have lying here on the computer. It's a document containing descriptions of what thoughts and stories lie behind my demos and what lies behind every song from "Miss Takes - Light The Night!". The sad part about that is that the descriptions are very personal. I would love for people to know what my songs really are about but since things have been out of hand for me and since there are some people out there turning truth around to stab David and I in the back both he and I choose not to write. Our real honest and true feelings would be to write it all out. But what would be the outcome of it? ...

I believe I have the right to go on about things on this blog. I think it's important to write. I think that if a businessperson that would like to sign me passes by and reads my blog and thinks - That sure was unprofessionally written - Then screw them! I believe that the 100+ new people a day that reads this and the 100+ people who visit regularly come here to read 'cause they are interested. I also know that some come here to fish for self-esteem boosting stuff when I'm down and out and to that I say - Good for you! I'm glad my misery can make you feel better. That's a really tragic life these people have going that need other peoples misery to keep them going and feeling better about themselves. For instance - Take tabloids and the how media is witch hunting poor Britney Spears - Because people want to read about crap - True or false - Just to make them feel better! Sometimes I wish I could really, fully and truly turn my back towards humanity...

So I guess what I've been doing here would be an almost silent fight or a coward's way to flee. I'm afraid to write all that's been going on but I'm not totally quiet. I moan and complain in words without music at the moment. There will be more music. You just wait and see. And then maybe someday, SOMEDAY when we are far away from here. I'll write the full entire truth instead of beating around the bush. Not fighting, not fleeing. Merely telling the truth and blogging about it.

Posted by: Magnus J

Hej Sara!
Hur är det med dig? Jag kommer kanske till Malmö näst-nästa helg, Min bror ska flytta och jag ska bära! :) Kanske kan våra steg korsas då!

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